A Personal Apotheosis Inquiry

Free Will, Fate, and Divine Knowledge

You Did Not Choose the Mind With Which You Choose

A person pausing between inherited influences and possible responses, representing conditioned but meaningful agency
Freedom may begin when a cause becomes capable of understanding causes.

My Answer

I did not choose my genes, nervous system, childhood, first fears, culture, social position, or the experiences that taught me what to desire. I did not even choose my original ability to reflect before acting. The mind I use to make choices arrived already shaped by causes I did not select.

This creates the central paradox of free will: if my decision is fully caused, how is it free? But if it is not caused—if it appears randomly—how is it mine?

I do not believe freedom means escaping causation or creating myself from nothing. I call that impossible ideal ultimate authorship. The freedom that matters is practical agency: my developed ability to recognize influences, understand reasons, imagine consequences, regulate action, and become part of what causes the next event.

I may not be the first cause of who I am, but I can become one of the causes of what happens next.

This freedom is real, unequal, and unearned. It grows through safety, education, health, reflection, treatment, community, and opportunity. That means responsibility must be joined to humility, and a society that demands responsible behavior must help create the conditions that make responsible behavior possible.

The Moment a Cause Becomes Aware of Itself

Someone insults you. Anger arises before you consciously request it. Your body tightens. Memories appear. Part of you wants to retaliate.

You did not choose the initial reaction. It emerged from temperament, past experience, present circumstances, and biological processes. Another possibility may then appear: you recognize the anger, remember previous consequences, and consider whether to speak, remain silent, leave, forgive, or confront the person carefully.

Where, within that process, does freedom exist?

The first reaction was caused. So was the memory that warned me. So was my capacity to imagine consequences. Yet something important happened when those causes became available to awareness: the system could model itself, compare possible responses, and allow reasons to change its direction.

That is where I locate practical freedom. Awareness does not float outside the causal world. Awareness is a causal process becoming able to examine and redirect other causal processes.

Freedom is not the absence of influence. It is the growing ability to understand influence and participate in what it produces.

1. What Does “Free Will” Mean?

Arguments about free will are often confused because people use the word free to describe different things.

Freedom From Direct Coercion

A person acts freely in this sense when no one physically forces, threatens, or deliberately manipulates the person.

Freedom to Act According to Desire

A person possesses this freedom when able to act according to personal motives and values. This remains incomplete because desires may arise through addiction, trauma, manipulation, or conditions the person never selected.

Freedom to Reflect Upon Desire

Human beings can evaluate their desires. Reflection allows us to ask not only, “What do I want?” but also, “Which desire should guide me?”

Substantive Freedom

Formal permission is not practical opportunity. A person may be legally free to leave an abusive job while facing hunger, eviction, loss of healthcare, or danger to dependent children.

Ultimate Freedom

Ultimate freedom would require me to be the true origin of a choice in a way not completely explained by prior conditions. I do not assume this exists merely because choosing feels immediate from the inside.

2. The Conditions We Did Not Choose

No human being creates the starting conditions of their existence. We do not choose our genes, nervous system, family, nation, historical period, earliest experiences, initial temperament, childhood safety or trauma, many illnesses, or the opportunities available to us.

These conditions influence what we notice, fear, desire, believe, and consider possible. Recognizing their influence does not prove that choice is unreal. It establishes that freedom cannot honestly be described as unlimited independence from circumstance.

Human beings participate in writing their lives, but none of us begins with a blank page, chooses the language, or writes without influence from previous chapters.

3. Structural Freedom and Systemic Coercion

Freedom is constrained not only by biology and personal history but also by institutions. Poverty, discrimination, inadequate education, unsafe housing, political repression, medical inaccessibility, exploitative employment, unequal policing, and inherited wealth shape the choices available to a person.

Formal freedom means that an action is legally permitted. Substantive freedom means that a person possesses the actual security, information, resources, and opportunity needed to pursue it.

What appears to be personal failure may partly reflect systematically restricted possibility. What appears to be personal achievement may partly reflect opportunities the successful person did not create.

Research on scarcity gives this argument a measurable form. Financial pressure can consume mental bandwidth—the attention and executive capacity needed for planning, self-control, and complex decisions. Poverty does not merely reduce the choices available. The constant management of shortage can also reduce the cognitive resources available for choosing among them.

A society that values freedom must examine whether its institutions provide meaningful opportunities to understand, choose, recover, participate, and flourish.

4. Determinism

Determinism is the view that every event follows necessarily from prior conditions together with the laws of nature. If it is true, every human decision belongs to an uninterrupted causal history. A choice may arise through reasoning, but the reasoning itself arises from earlier causes.

Human deliberation is also part of the causal world. Reasons, education, laws, relationships, therapy, and reflection affect behavior. Under determinism, deliberation does not escape causation. It becomes one of the causes through which events unfold.

A person who pauses to reflect did not necessarily create that capacity. It may result from genetics, education, safety, treatment, relationships, and previous causes. Determinism permits us to say reflection changes outcomes; it does not establish that the reflective person deserves ultimate credit for becoming reflective.

5. Indeterminism Does Not Automatically Create Freedom

An undetermined event is not necessarily a free choice. If a decision were partly produced by a random quantum event, the randomness would not automatically make the decision more mine.

Freedom cannot be established merely by finding a break in determinism. Libertarian freedom requires an explanation of how a person can originate an action without that action being either determined or random. No generally accepted explanation presently exists.

6. Three Major Philosophical Positions

Libertarian Free Will

Libertarianism holds that genuine freedom requires alternatives not completely determined by prior conditions. It preserves a powerful form of authorship but faces the difficulty of explaining how an undetermined choice belongs to a person rather than to chance.

Hard Determinism and Free-Will Skepticism

These positions deny that people possess the ultimate control required for basic moral desert. This encourages humility but need not eliminate protection, rehabilitation, boundaries, education, restitution, or prevention.

Compatibilism

Compatibilism holds that meaningful freedom can exist when action arises through a person’s reasoning, values, intentions, and desires rather than direct coercion or incapacitating compulsion. It captures important distinctions but cannot quietly borrow the moral language of ultimate self-authorship.

7. The Domino Challenge

If determinism is true, the saint who cultivates awareness and the criminal who reacts blindly are both dominoes falling exactly as prior causes require.

I accept the force of this objection. If determinism is true, awareness, discipline, and even the impulse to seek treatment or reconsider a belief are caused.

Under strict determinism, a person probably lacks ultimate authorship. Yet a person may still possess capacities that change behavior: representing alternatives, anticipating consequences, examining motives, understanding moral reasons, and learning from criticism.

I call this practical agency. This is not a word game. A person locked in a room differs from a person who can leave. A person in psychosis differs from a person who can understand evidence. A person who changes behavior when given a reason differs from one who cannot process the reason. These differences predict what interventions will work, what protection is needed, and how much responsibility is fair.

The capacity remains caused and unearned, so it cannot justify spiritual superiority. But a caused capacity can still be real. Eyes are caused and still see. Memory is caused and still remembers. Deliberation can be caused and still alter what happens.

No one can take ultimate credit for possessing the conditions that made wisdom possible.

8. What Neuroscience Can—and Cannot—Tell Us

Experiments associated with Benjamin Libet found measurable brain activity before participants reported conscious intention. Later studies predicted simple decisions slightly better than chance before participants reported deciding.

One study found information about an upcoming left-or-right button choice in brain activity several seconds before participants reported deciding. That sounds like the end of free will until the details are restored: prediction was far from perfect, the choice had no personal importance, and the experiment measured when a person reported awareness—not the exact beginning of the full decision process.

A later accumulator model showed that the famous readiness signal could arise when fluctuating background activity gradually crosses a threshold, rather than representing a decision secretly completed by the unconscious brain. Research comparing arbitrary button presses with deliberate choices involving meaningful consequences also found that the classic readiness pattern did not appear in the same way for deliberate decisions.

The result is more interesting than either slogan. Decisions begin before the moment we can report them, but trivial spontaneous movements are not reliable models of moral reflection. Consciousness is one stage within a larger process—not a ghost issuing orders to the brain and not necessarily a powerless spectator.

Human decisions begin through processes that are not entirely conscious. Conscious awareness participates in a larger biological system rather than issuing commands from outside it.

Neuroscience undermines the image of an independent conscious commander. It does not establish that reflection, self-regulation, or practical agency are unreal.

9. Freedom as a Developed but Unearned Capacity

Two people may experience anger. One reacts immediately. The other notices the feeling, recognizes its source, considers consequences, and selects a response. Neither chose the initial feeling or created the full history producing the response. Yet the second possesses a wider functional capacity.

Practical agency can be strengthened through education, therapy, meditation, recovery programs, stable housing, healthcare, supportive relationships, and accountable communities. These influences do not make a person uncaused. They become new causes capable of producing different behavior.

If practical agency depends upon conditions, a just society should help create those conditions rather than merely punish people for lacking them.

10. Can God Know a Choice Before I Make It?

The theological problem appears simple: if God already knows what a person will do and cannot be mistaken, the person seems unable to do otherwise.

Knowledge and Causation

Knowing an event is not the same as causing it. But divine foreknowledge is supposedly true before the decision, creating a deeper problem than ordinary observation.

Timeless Knowledge

Some traditions hold that every time is immediately present to God. This removes prediction but may not restore an open future if tomorrow’s action already exists timelessly as a fact.

An Open Future

God may know every possible future perfectly without treating an unsettled future as complete. Knowing possibility as possibility would not necessarily be ignorance.

Molinism

Molinism claims God knows what every possible free creature would do in every circumstance and selects which world to create. But if God chooses a complete world while infallibly knowing every decision within it, God functionally selects the history containing those decisions. Molinism may preserve voluntary action while struggling to preserve an open future.

A Participatory God

Process and participatory models propose that God knows the past and present completely, understands every possibility, and participates in an unfolding world without treating future free decisions as completed facts.

11. My Answer: God Knows an Open Future as Open

I believe the future is genuinely unfinished. Some things are strongly constrained by what has already happened; others remain live possibilities. God knows the past and present completely, knows every possibility and every pressure acting upon it, but does not mistake a possibility for an event that has already occurred.

This is not a limit on divine knowledge. A perfect weather model would not be ignorant for describing a genuinely probabilistic event as probabilistic. It would become inaccurate if it invented certainty where reality contained none. In the same way, if tomorrow's decision does not yet exist as a fact, there is no missing fact for God to fail to know.

Perfect knowledge means knowing reality exactly as it is—including the difference between what has happened, what is happening, and what can still become.

I cannot prove this model, but I find it more coherent than imagining a completed cosmic script and then calling every line freely authored by the character who must speak it.

12. Freedom Within the Divine Whole

If everything exists within God, it does not follow that God individually dictates every action. I understand persons as genuine centers of experience and responsibility within divine reality, not disposable illusions or puppets.

Finite agency may be a localized expression of divine creativity—the capacity of reality to generate perspectives, responses, and relationships that are meaningfully distinct.

This is my theological conclusion: creation is not God arranging lifeless pieces from outside. It is divine reality producing centers that can answer back, resist, learn, injure, repair, and add something genuinely new to the history they share.

13. Does God Limit Divine Control?

Some traditions claim nothing occurs outside God’s control. Others believe God permits genuine creaturely freedom. But voluntary restraint cannot fully explain extreme suffering.

Freedom may help explain why God does not prevent every harmful human decision. It does not explain cancer, earthquakes, genetic disease, or suffering unrelated to moral choice.

Freedom may involve risk, but invoking freedom must never become a way of minimizing victims’ suffering or excusing preventable harm.

14. Prayer Without Magical Control

I find no reliable basis for promising that petitionary prayer routinely changes external outcomes through supernatural intervention. People pray for children who still die, wars that continue, cancers that progress, and disasters that arrive.

If God redirects one illness or accident in response to prayer but does not prevent another person’s torture or death, divine protection appears morally and evidentially uneven.

Prayer may still focus attention, expose conscience, regulate emotion, strengthen commitment, create solidarity, move people toward action, and deepen an experienced relationship with God. It must never replace medical care, protection, practical action, or responsibility.

Pray as an act of attention, relationship, and moral formation—not as a guarantee that reality will be supernaturally rearranged according to desire.

15. Moral Responsibility Without Ultimate Freedom

Responsibility need not mean that someone created themselves from nothing. Accountability may remain appropriate when an action expresses intention, the person understands likely consequences, possesses a reasonable capacity for regulation, and is not acting under overwhelming coercion.

Responsibility should exist in degrees. A deliberate act differs from an accident. A healthy adult differs from a child. A calculated offense differs from behavior during a neurological crisis. A person with safe alternatives differs from someone acting under desperate structural constraint.

Accountability should protect people, recognize victims, require restitution, rehabilitate where possible, prevent future harm, and distinguish justice from revenge.

Compassion asks what shaped the person. Responsibility asks what the person did and what must happen next. Wisdom requires both.

16. The Saint and the Criminal

If determinism is true, both arise from histories neither created. The difference between them remains consequential, but it does not justify metaphysical pride in one or hatred of the other.

The saint’s conduct may deserve trust and imitation because it improves lives. Harmful conduct may require restraint, restitution, treatment, or separation. These responses need not depend upon the belief that either person created themselves independently of every cause.

Understanding why a person caused harm does not require permitting the person to continue causing it.

17. Fate, Circumstance, and Direction

I do not believe every event is planned. That claim becomes harmful when applied to abuse, disease, disaster, or the death of a child.

Not everything that happens was necessarily intended, but everything that happens becomes part of the reality from which we must respond.

This does not mean every tragedy produces growth. Some injuries remain injuries. Some losses cannot be redeemed by a theological lesson. I will not demand transformation from a suffering person on my schedule.

18. The Position I Am Taking

I call my position conditioned, developmental, and relational agency.

  • Conditioned: Decisions arise within biological, psychological, social, economic, political, and historical conditions.
  • Developmental: Practical agency can grow through awareness, education, healing, discipline, safety, and experience.
  • Relational: Agency depends partly upon knowledge, opportunity, support, and security created with others.
  • Unearned: No one creates their original capacity for reflection or self-control.
  • Meaningful: A capacity may be caused and still affect what happens.
  • Responsible: Human actions enter the lives of other beings.
I do not claim that we possess ultimate authorship. I claim something more grounded: we can develop the conditioned ability to understand influences, evaluate reasons, regulate behavior, and participate deliberately in shaping what happens next.

19. A Practical Test for Agency and Responsibility

  1. What conditions shaped the action? Consider biology, trauma, culture, poverty, pressure, fear, and opportunity.
  2. What did the person understand? Could the person recognize the nature and likely consequences?
  3. What alternatives could the person perceive and practically pursue?
  4. What capacity for regulation existed?
  5. Was coercion, dependency, desperation, or unequal power present?
  6. What harm occurred?
  7. What protection, restitution, treatment, boundary, or consequence is necessary?
  8. What could increase future agency?

This framework moves the question from abstract blame toward accurate responsibility and constructive change.

Conclusion

Human beings do not possess absolute independence from cause and circumstance. We do not choose our birth, biology, earliest experiences, social position, or many forces shaping desire. Our capacity for reflection is itself influenced by conditions we did not create.

If determinism is true, awareness is determined. The saint and the criminal both arise from causal histories they did not originate. I do not avoid this conclusion by pretending practical agency is ultimate freedom.

Instead, it makes a narrower claim. Human beings possess different capacities to understand influences, represent alternatives, anticipate consequences, regulate conduct, and respond to reasons. These capacities may be caused, but they remain consequential.

Because practical agency is unequally distributed and never entirely self-created, it should produce humility. Those with greater opportunity and self-regulation inherit an obligation to help create the conditions under which others can become safer, more aware, and more capable of deliberate action.

I believe God knows an unfinished future perfectly as possibility, pressure, relationship, and emerging fact. That gives our participation real weight without pretending we created the minds with which we participate.

I did not author the mind that first met the world. Neither did anyone else. But a mind can become aware of the forces moving through it. It can learn which reasons deserve allegiance. It can enter therapy, accept correction, build habits, ask for help, protect another person, or refuse to pass an inherited cruelty forward.

That is not freedom from causation. It is something more remarkable: causation becoming capable of examining itself.

We inherit the causes that made us. Character begins when we become conscious participants in the causes we pass on.

Selected Sources and Further Reading